I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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