Ambien. No doubt about it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my liver is dry heaving
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