Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
