Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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