We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
