I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
