whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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