i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
