My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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