2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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