There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Mom said you looked used
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
