Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
