Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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