On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
