i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
