the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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