did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Boobs speak an international language.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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