i think i have two assholes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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