I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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