apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
