dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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