There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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