how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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