So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
