hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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