His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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