Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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