I want to walk on stilts...naked
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize