I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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