Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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