garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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