Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
