I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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