but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
