Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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