i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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