Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just googled if crying burns calories
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
