The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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