also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
