Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
