oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
