she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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