I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
