gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
