Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
