Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
