i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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