uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
