I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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