there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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