I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
