Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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