I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
