And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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