think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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