Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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