i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We were destined to go to rehab together
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
