meet me or not, i'm out of control
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
