Dual....:-)
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
